by Cynthia Morin

I know people who love to be the victim.
They’re either sad, angry or depressed.
They’re so afraid of using their power that they just can’t make things happen.
So will you use your personal power?
-Global Relationship Centers

Much of the world is feeling very helpless and hopeless these days. Many are afraid for what seems to be a downward spiral of humanity. Yet many are balancing out the scales with humor, optimism, and creative ideas for building better communities, more loving families, a more beautiful planet and peace and prosperity amongst all people. Where do you place yourself on this
continuum?

Do you bounce around; feeling powerful and then helpless, feeling limitless and then like a victim. Are your feelings the problem? Or your thoughts? How can you use your personal power to
make things happen?

You may know this intellectually but have you owned this truth? – You are NOT the victim of anything outside yourself – not your parents, your boss, the government, the economy, the weather or the media. You are perhaps the victim of your own thoughts, but guess what? You get to change your thoughts! Now there’s real power.

What does being powerful look like? Here are five descriptions that come to mind. Note that this is not about the common version of power ‘over’ something but rather about your own inner
freedom.

1. Life Choices

Everything that happens in your life is a result of a choice. And every choice of ‘no’ means you also say ‘yes’ to something. And vice versa. Have you forgotten this simple thing that most 3 year olds have learned? Correct me if I’m wrong – somewhere around three kids learn that everything is either/or – that everything is a trade off. The terrible two’s is all about learning to function in the world of wants and desires, and learning to manipulate choices. How loud are your YESs and NOs when it is time to let the world know what you want? How quick are you to find a new option when the current one isn’t working? Can you see more than two options at a time? Congratulations, you have progressed past the toddler
stage!

2. Action versus Reaction

To move away from victimhood and take the role of a powerful being is to learn to not react to what is happening around you. Instead of using your energy to watch others and gather information so you know what to do, you can choose to use your energy to create your own reality. Getting into action towards what you desire takes much less energy than reacting which is generally about moving away from what you don’t want. In order to have true choices you need to be in action toward what you desire not reacting to
what others desire for you.

3. Make decisions based on Values

Deciding what you are willing to give up versus what is important enough to fight for is crucial. If you make a list of important values – freedom, love, generosity, companionship, creativity, etc – you can prioritize them and notice that everything that is going on in your life evolves around the top values you have identified. They establish the curriculum from which you learn each day what is most important. What you think you need and what you believe and value at a deeper level may be in conflict when it comes to taking action. You will notice this dramatically when you are feeling ‘stuck’ and not able to act at all or when you ‘blow up’ and are surprised at yourself. You have lost touch with what is really important and begun to struggle toward a symbol of that value. Suddenly, the boss or the job seems more important to your survival than the fact that you have a yearning to express a talent or offer a
gift to the world.

4. Eliminating the Filters that see Win/Lose

Being powerful means being able to satisfy your needs without jeopardizing others needs. Being a victim is seeing through the filter of loss and lack. It is always about what you are afraid will happen – a negative expectation that leads to negative results. Being powerful means seeing through a clear lens of win/win – seeing that we are all getting exactly what we need. Transforming your lens requires that you enter the space of the heart and listen to the strong messages of soul awareness instead of the wimpy ego mind
messages.

5. Responding to Purpose and Possibility

Attempting to ‘go it alone’ leads to a life of struggle and conflict. Everyone that appears in your life is there for a purpose. Every event is an opportunity to expand potential. You do not operate in a vacuum, thank goodness. Only by reaching out and responding to others needs can you experience the expansiveness of personal power. This requires a grounding in the understanding of how giving and receiving are the same thing. You do not own anyone or anything and that includes knowledge and wisdom. Every bit of it is the Universe flowing through you, touching you and (unless you grab on) moving along. This power is very different from what we sometimes call power and really mean as ‘force’. Power is not forcing anything or anyone but rather allowing what IS to be perfectly adequate. Relationships are wonderful teachers once we eliminate the reactionary win/lose mentality and respond with our true values.

Using your personal power is not an easy path at first. You will have to face the arguments of monkey mind and transform many old beliefs that have become ingrained over the years. But clarity of intention can move you rapidly along to a place of peace and openness resulting in an expanded sense of power. You may look back on the previous years and wonder who was that person that struggled so hard
with life.

Cynthia Morin is co-publisher of Spirit of Eureka and also a Personal Life Coach who helps people discover their true purpose and power so they can make things happen. Contact Cynthia at 479-244-6585 or visit her website.

Read another article about Personal Power.